Monday, May 25, 2009

and he's single, ladies!

(10:01:01 PM) ilyeria: thats a rare piece of chess knowledge you cant find with google

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I give up

When I moved into my last apartment, I got a land line. The number used to belong to a woman who has apparently fallen off the face of the earth in an attempt to escape debt, because I got frequent calls from debt collection agencies as well as family members. Finally, I changed my answering machine to say "if you are calling for Phyllis, this is no longer her phone number."

That was almost three years ago. I still get robo messages now and then for her, which makes sense because the automated system doesn't listen to my message. Sometimes I get messages from humans who clearly don't pay attention and leave a message for Phyllis anyway.

Today, I get a message on my machine which acknowledges the answering machine message stating that it is not Phyllis's phone number, and then proceeds to leave a message for her anyway.

"Hi, this is X, I guess...they said this wasn't your phone number...but anyway I was just calling to see how you're doing and wish you a happy Easter. X, from Ohio, remember?"

Help me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

In which I increase the readership of my blog

Here are pictures of my cats:

She's not stretching, she's actually asleep.

Artemis loves her some shirt drawer.

Luna adores her chicken costume, can't you tell?

I just noticed that the crab seems to be eyeing Artemis in terror.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I love my brother

(while discussing our cousin's upcoming wedding and the fact that it will include religious ceremony items such as communion. We are both non-religious, but he usually goes up to eat Jebus anyway and I always stay in my seat.)


Him: At least if they have communion it will let us get up and move around.
Me: Not for me.
Him: Yeah, but I'm always down for a snack.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Proof at last

Proof of a correlation between illiteracy and Myspace usage.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The mind, it boggles

Just in case you didn't think antitrust could get any more ridiculous, read this.

Let me get this straight. Microsoft providing free software as an optional download might be a violation of antitrust? How does this make any sense at all? Translation of the article: "Microsoft providing a product that is more attractive to consumers than its competitors' products might drive those competitors out of business." WELL NO SHIT. Wahhh, boo hoo, someone makes better products than me so I want the goverment to come in and save me from them, wahhhh. The next thing you know, C students will be asking the government to prevent A students from getting such good grades, since the A students will beat them out for good jobs as a result.

I particularly like this gem from the article: "It's unclear whether giving away software that others charge for will ultimately be enough to justify regulatory action."

Are you fucking kidding me? This is unclear? Well in that case, we should also take to court the following people:
1. Kids who babysit their young cousins for free at family functions (nannies and daycare centers chargef or this)
2. People who volunteer to tutor their friends (tutoring services charge for this)
3. People who knit things and give them away as gifts (clothing stores charge for such items)
4. Almost everyone who is sexually active (prostitutes charge for sex)
5. People who give rides to their friends (taxi and limo services charge for this)
6. Any store that includes a free gift with purchase (other stores charge for such items)

*bangs head repeatedly on desk*

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Too good not to post